Why is mental health a topic most people are too uncomfortable to talk about?
“We live in a world where if you break your arm, everyone runs over to sign your cast, but if you tell people you’re depressed, everyone runs the other way.”
I’ve read this one day while browsing over Pinterest. And boy, was it on point!
I’m the kind of person who doesn’t really have anyone to open up about all the ‘crazy thoughts’ inside my head. Yes, I do have a handful of trusted friends, but I have this fear of being openly judged and then rejected, especially by people who I am close to and really care about. So instead of talking to someone and risk being judged, I overshare via social media.
Every day, I used to post more than 10 times and consecutively in Facebook and even Twitter. I literally flood the news feeds of my friends and followers. And for this, some ‘friends’ who I’ve known practically my whole life, tell me I’m being “papansin”, “madrama”, and/or “nababaliw” again. They would often scold me, even threaten to ‘unfriend’, ‘unfollow’, and ‘block’ me, all because they see me post too often. I just laugh about it sometimes, but there are times when I’m feeling way too much, and even though for them it was only meant as a joke, for me, it was awfully serious.
want need to understand your point.
So my dear friends (readers), I ask you these:
Why? Is it so wrong to pour my heart out on a Facebook status?
What is so wrong about saying what’s on my mind and how I feel at that very moment when I posted a lengthy status? Does my incessant ranting affect your daily lives?
Would it hurt you to ask me if I am fine instead of instantly judging me and calling me names?
What if your mocking of mental illness causes the end of a life of someone you care about?
It hurts when the people you are close to, doesn’t recognize a drastic change in you; that you are suffering, feeling lost, and that you seriously need help.
It hurts to see when the people you thought you can trust with your secrets and even with your life, look at you like you have a contagious disease just because you tell them you are depressed.
It is painful even more so, when they tell you to “snap out of it”, and call you “attention-seeker” and “crazy”, just because they do not feel how you feel.
Try to step in my shoes for you to understand that this is not funny and to be taken lightly.
All I ask is for your patience to understand. I never asked for this to happen. It is already a hard battle with our own thoughts, please stop making it any more difficult than it already is.
I did not do this on purpose. I try so hard every day to control my illness, but sometimes, it gets the best of me and control me instead. I did not choose to let the illness in and to let it ruin my life. I have no choice. The only choice I make is to decide on who are the ones I can trust to allow to be part my life because they understand what I am going through.
I ask for your patience; To listen, and remind me from time to time that it is going to be okay, that it is fine to be just me when my illness is stronger than I can endure. But if you cannot associate yourself with someone who has a broken mind, then please, stay the hell away from me and my life. I don’t need a constant reminder of how fucked up I really am.
I am not my illness.
I am still me.